The final hurdle

I can't believe it's only four months since I wrote that last post, I feel like so much has changed.

It seems sometime in the last few months I crossed the final hurdle to full recovery. This apparently went hand in hand with me decided to quit smoking – the final step in making the decision to treat my body with some respect and discovering that I deserve to be healthy and happy.

So after going away on an Alpha weekend with my church and receiving prayer for complete and total healing from my self loathing, I woke up the next day and realised I was so loved that it was time to really love myself. I quit smoking and removed all the final traces of Anorexia that were still hanging over me – I have never felt better.

Even those around me have noticed. This is what I want to be noticed for - for being the happy, healthy glowing Hannah who shines with the love of Jesus and the joy of the Holy Spirit. I no longer need to be the sick Hannah – starving, cutting, overdosing and trying to self destruct with a pathological need to be cared for. This is the hugest realisation of my journey so far, throughout my rocky teenage years and slightly unstable mental health.

I have finally grown up and realised I don't need to be sick to be loved – In fact life is so much brighter with health.

And now after all those years of taking... it's time for me to give back...